Cell Phones for All

I discovered a fresh outrage this weekend. Unusually for me, I was glued to the tube, watching the series finale of Lost. Four minutes of show, three minutes of commercials. Anyway, from sheer repetition, commercials for Assurant Wireless began to penetrate my consciousness.

Assurant Wireless offers a free cell phone, along with 200 minutes of free nation-wide calling every month, as long as you qualify. The primary qualification is to be receiving food stamps, or to have income below 135% of the Federal poverty level.

The first problem with this is that the “free” cell phone service is not free, of course. It is being paid for out of the taxes attached to the paying customers’ phone bills every month. So I’m being taxed, not to pay for a common good like police or fire protection, but for someone else’s specific good. But the irritation doesn’t stop there.

I can kind of wrap my mind around the concept of food stamps. No one should starve in a nation full of food. But when was it decided that cell phone service is a right, not a discretionary expense?

Then there’s that 135%. The whole point of having a Federal poverty level is that is supposed to be the line demarcating the poor (who presumably need help from the government), from the not-poor, who should be able to fend for themselves.

Those are all bad enough to give me dyspepsia. The part that really frosts me, however, is the television commercials. The contract to provide the “free” cell service is so lucrative that the company (a division of Virgin Mobile) can afford a primetime TV ad campaign. They want to reach anyone who might be qualified, and get them to sign up. There used to be at least a little bit of a stigma associated with government assistance. You were supposed to have enough pride to take care of yourself. Not any more. Don’t be embarrassed to get free cell phone service. You’re entitled to feed at the government trough.

This whole situation irritates me, but in reality, it is only an irritant. The taxes that pay for this program are not unduly onerous. But I wonder how the folks who earn 140% of the poverty line feel. If they want cell service, they have to choose what to sacrifice to afford the luxury of a cell phone. I’ll bet this makes them just wild.