Bristol Palin: Fortune's Child

I may have to revise my opinion of Bristol Palin.

My initial impression of Sarah Palin’s oldest daughter was that she is a thirty watt bulb. There’s a spark, but it is pretty dim. After all, she let herself get knocked up by Levi Johnston, who by all appearances and public statements is a pretty reprehensible character. After having her baby, she didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get back to school and continue her education past high school. I figured Bristol for a loser, another unwed mother who is supported by her parents.

But the events of the last year have made me reconsider.

First, there was the US magazine cover story, where she and Levi announced they were back together and getting engaged. Okay, the engagement lasted about three weeks, right up until Levi Johnston realized she meant it when she told him there would be no premarital sex. The public humiliation did nothing to enhance Bristol’s reputation as a sharp operator. But her share of the fee paid by US magazine for the scoop was $125,000. Not bad for a day’s work.

Meanwhile, she was the national spokesperson for an organization devoted to preventing teen pregnancy. According to USA Today, her salary for that gig was $209,000 per year. That is enough to put her compensation into the top 10% of households in the US.

Then there was “Dancing with the Stars.” Now, she was certainly not the worst dancer that season, but I watched some episodes of the show, and she was nowhere near the best. But her mother’s fan base kept her in the running, right up until the final three couples. As I understand the compensation structure of the show, you get $10,000 for the first episode, $20,000 for the second, and so on. The payout escalates the longer you survive the elimination. By my estimate, by making it to finals, Bristol grossed about $2 million that season.

Now she has written her memoir. The sum total of her life experience to date has been: getting pregnant by Levi Johnston, backstage observer on a failed political campaign, and a stint on DWTS. And she got a book deal out of it. Can you spell P U B L I S H E R’ S A D V A N C E?

At this point the lifetime earnings of this 21 year old are somewhere north of mine, and I’ve been working as a college educated professional for 30 years. You can’t argue with success, and this girl has had a ton of it in the last three years. So like I said, I’m going to have to revise my opinion of her talents upward significantly.

But damn, who’s her agent?